The Otherside
by YaoiIsLove
Summary: Kurt was everything to him, but apparently he wasn't everything to Kurt. Blaine Anderson was and always would be Kurt's heart. Kurt/OC. Blaine/Kurt. Follow-up to No Strings.
1. Chapter 1

Media: Fic

Title: The Otherside

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Kurt/OC; Blaine/Kurt

Spoilers: None

Warnings: Infidelity

Summary: Kurt was everything to him, but apparently he wasn't everything to Kurt. Blaine Anderson was and always would be Kurt's heart.

Disclaimer: Do not own Glee, however, I do own Anthony and Joshua and other random characters in here.

Author's Note: This is part 1 of 2 follow-up to my drabble No Strings. This piece is from Anthony's POV and takes you up to the affair and slightly beyond, the next part will be from Joshua's POV. There will possibly be a third part or fic with the aftermath but for now, this is what I have. So I hope you enjoy. ^_^

The Otherside

Anthony Collins had never felt himself to be attractive. He was tall, he supposed, just shy of 6'1", and pretty well built for any athlete. He'd played two years of JV Football and a year of Varsity tennis but he'd never really was hardcore about his work outs. Personally he felt like his eyes were a dull dark brown, and his hair could never be tamed. It wasn't curly per se but it was unruly and never wanted to lie flat against his head, no matter how hard he wished it would. By age 21 he just gave up and started to slick the dirty blonde locks into a ponytail, and that may or may not have been the influence of one Kurt Hummel.

Anthony was born and raised in West Fargo, North Dakota and was often thought to be a farm boy even if he'd never stepped foot on a farm before. He hailed from a Mormon family, under the influence of his stepfather who was a strict Mormon man. His birth father had passed from lung cancer when he was just 2 but only certain circles knew that little fact. Needless to say his parents were not pleased when he came out as homosexual at 18, just a week and a half before graduation. He assumed they took the natural course all parents did and told him he was confused and it was a choice, his stepfather even suggested sending him to a seminar where they'd convince him that heterosexuality was the only option.

He hadn't expected a happy reception to the revelation and had already planned ahead. As such he applied to every out of state college he could, his dream college being NYU. For as long as he could remember he'd wanted to live in New York city, it was his dream and when he got the acceptance letter he'd cried in joy. His mother had been happy for him, almost like nothing had changed their relationship.

It'd taken a better part of the summer but he succeeded in moving into a dorm room; he succeeded in moving to Manhattan. Manhattan. Of course, big city life wasn't all it was cracked up to be, only in dreams was it flawless. Even at a private university like NYU he's experienced many small thefts of his possessions, from then on he locked his room down tight, even if his roommate called him paranoid. It took him two years to find a job in such a huge city, and when he finally got a call back about a waiter position in a Greenwich Village restaurant he jumped on it. This was where his entire life changed.

He'd come into work as usual, Lucy making her daily joke about his hair. Lucy had become his friend and confidant even if the red-head insisted on playing matchmaker for him, even going as far as dragging him to a few gay clubs. He had appreciated the efforts but clubs weren't exactly his thing, he'd even avoided high school parties, large crowds of bumping and grinding and earsplitting music just wasn't his idea of a good time. Since he was resistant to the clubs she'd taken to making him wait on tables with cute men, and today was no different. "Table 10," she'd whispered, pushing him in the direction once he was clocked in.

Needless to say when he came upon Table 10 his heart jumped into his throat. The man seated at the table was gorgeous, more than gorgeous, he was a literal angel sent from heaven. His skin was flawless and smooth, obviously well taken care of. His hair was a light brown, styled and coiffed perfectly, completely away from beautiful bluish-green eyes that seem to shimmer with amusement. He wore some kind of purple jacket and scarf combination, and sat perfectly straight, perched pristinely on his chair. "I'm Anthony, and I'll be your server today," he said, hoping he hadn't stuttered. The girl sitting across from the angel giggled meaning he had apparently flubbed his introduction.

"I'll start with a iced tea, extra ice, and don't put the lemon in the glass. Rachel?"

"Same, but feel free to drop the wedge in," the brunette woman smiled. He nodded and walked away, watching the two closely. They seemed to be close, but he wasn't sure how close they were. Was Lucy wrong? Was that man actually straight?

"I don't understand, Kurt, you two dated for 3 years and now you just break up?"

"Rachel, I can't do long distance. Blaine has one dream, and that's to get into Harvard law even if his father is pushing for Yale. It was easy enough when we were in high school, but it's been two years of long distance and it's already killing us. He's at OSU, I'm at NYU, it's hard," Kurt answered, making Anthony's heart both soar and plummet at the same time. On two hands not only was the boy gay but he went to NYU, on the versa he'd just got out of a relationship and it was never nice to be a rebound.

From that point, he tried not to stare but couldn't help it. Kurt was beautiful and gay, that was reason enough to stare, right? When they left Kurt and Rachel both had given him small thankful smiles and even though that was normal for customers Anthony had wanted to pretend it was so much more.

Kurt visited the restaurant often, usually with his friend Rachel, and they usually ordered the same thing. Two iced teas, a Caesar salad for Kurt, and a baked potato soup for Rachel, he'd grown use to their presence. So accustomed that when Kurt made a snipe at his hair he'd merely smiled.

"Seriously," Kurt sighed. "You can't tell if you have eyes under that atrocious mop. Try pulling your hair back, it'll elongate the face and actually accentuate the jaw bone."

"Uh, I'm not exactly good at all that stuff, I usually just ruffle my hair out of bed or comb it quick."

"Dear lord," Kurt gasped, hand to his heart. Promptly he grabbed a napkin and scribbled onto it before handing it to Anthony. "That's my number, call me when you're ready for a make-over, alright?"

It might have been obsessive but Anthony stared at those 10 digits for a week before getting the urge to actually call Kurt. When Kurt's voice answered Anthony had to calm himself down before stuttering out something incoherent about a make-over. He could hear the glee in Kurt's voice as he asked if he knew where NYU is.

"Actually, I go to NYU."

"Really? You never mentioned that. So do you know where the Fine Arts building is?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Go past that and take a right, go about half a mile till you see the mailboxes, the building on the left is mine. Meet me outside and I'll take you to my hairdresser, she's fabulous, after that I'll decide if you need a new wardrobe."

Anthony didn't even take a second to think about it, he was out the door faster than he could grab his NYU hoodie. The first thing Kurt did when he came to pick him up was laugh. "Are you serious with that outfit?"

Apparently there was something wrong with wearing university sweats and a hoodie with sneakers. But he didn't care because Kurt had gotten into his car giving him instructions to a tiny salon in downtown Manhattan. All the employees seemed to recognize him and confirmed his appointment with a woman named Sandra. It was a flurry or instructions as Kurt told her how he wanted Anthony to have a trim and possibly some highlights to accentuate the blonde in his hair. Possibly a sleeker look. "Think Cary Elwes in The Princess Bride," he remarked with a laugh. When they were done and his hair was colored, cut, and pulled tightly back into a small ponytail he felt he looked like an entirely different person. "Now we can see those lovely brown eyes of yours," Kurt had cooed, hands on his shoulders.

"Will you go out with me?" he blurted out right then without thinking.

Kurt had laughed playfully. "Not dressed like that, let's take you to keep some real clothes, and then we'll talk about a date."

They'd known each other for roughly a year since their first meeting in the restaurant but Anthony realized he knew nothing about Kurt. The date had been so enlightening in so many ways. He'd finally learned that Kurt's last name was Hummel and that he was born and raised in Lima, Ohio. His mother had passed when he was 8 years old and it had just been him and his father, Burt, for roughly another 8 years. Anthony absorbed every bit of the story and everything Kurt had to say. He skimmed the details of his first boyfriend, Blaine, merely saying they thought they were in love. Anthony felt for him, but Kurt seemed to be over it, having trying to date another man soon after named Tyler, but it was a relationship that lasted less than two months. Apparently Tyler was not receptive to fashion.

Anthony, on the other hand, was receptive to everything Kurt gave or told him. Kurt was perfect in his eyes, even his imperfections made him perfect. Anthony was more than happy to be dating someone like Kurt, and they told each other everything which was even more wonderful. Rachel, Kurt's rather ambitious friend, even approved of him and called him just what Kurt needed. After a year of dating when Anthony finally had the courage to ask Kurt to move in with him, Rachel had approved even helping them apartment search in Greenwich Village. It touched his heart when Rachel had demanded he be included on ganging up on Kurt for transferring schools."It's Parson's School for Design, Rachel. It's still in Greenwich, it's not like it's on the other side of New York."

"Anthony? Help me out here, tell him to stay at NYU."

"Sorry, Rach," Anthony shrugged. "I have to agree with whatever Kurt wants."

Kurt had smiled smugly at that, giving Anthony a grateful smile. That night was the first time they ever had intercourse, and it was everything Anthony had hoped for. It was messy, uncomfortable at times, and very fumbly, but perfect in all these aspects of the act. That was the moment Anthony realized he was in love with Kurt, truly, deeply in love with him.

Soon after Kurt asked him to come home to Lima with him. Anthony was properly introduced to Burt and Carole Hummel, Kurt's parents! Not only that he was introduced to his brother, Finn, who wasn't as tall as Kurt had claimed him to be. But that might be due to the fact Anthony was rather tall himself by most standards. They were wonderful and accepting, unlike his own parents who refused to meet Kurt. That was until Anthony told them he was planning to propose to the boy. They'd question his sanity then, asking if he really wanted to marry another man. He was only 23, he was to young to make such a big decision but he didn't feel like it was. In fact he felt like it was a no brainer.

With the help of Rachel he'd picked out the perfect engagement ring, and had set up a dinner at the restaurant where they first met. Anthony no longer worked there, having got a full time internship at a therapy clinic, but the employees were all to willing to help one of their own. Lucy scolded him and told him he better not put the ring in champagne or desert, he'd laughed and told her it'd be nothing like that. In fact, he was planning to restore Kurt's faith in Valentine's Day. His boyfriend had told him about every horrid Valentine's Day he'd had, and how Anthony would never restore his faith in the over hyped holiday. The past two years they dated Anthony never dared to do anything on Valentine's Day but this time was an exception.

He'd invited Rachel and Kurt's family to dinner, even got a hold of Kurt's old friend Mercedes, who eagerly jumped on a plane from LA. They'd gotten a long table, everyone smiling and chatting in friendly conversation. Anthony had felt the weight of the ring in his pocket all through dinner, scared to touch the felt until the moment he got down on one knee. When Burt announced it was getting late and they should turn in, Anthony stood up.

"Can you wait just a second longer, Burt?" he asked, Carole and the man looking at him questioningly. Mercedes and Rachel were the only ones in the know of what he was about to do. Burt gave a shrug and sat back down giving Anthony his cue to lower to one knee, Kurt's hand in his own. Kurt's breath visibly caught and Carole gave a shuddering gasp of excitement while Mercedes and Rachel shared equal yips of excitement. Finn continued eating his cake, looking over the scene.

"3 years ago, we met in this exact spot," he had began, Kurt's eyes looking around to reassure himself it was the exact spot, and sure enough it was. "I was the awkward psychology student and you were the pristine fashionista who ordered iced tea with lemon and a Caesar salad made to his exact requests down to the chicken. You were the most picky customer I'd ever encountered. For almost a year we traded conversation as waiter and customer until you got fed up and gave me a make-over."

"One you needed," Kurt jumped in, to make sure he knew, and lord did he know.

"You're everything, and I fell in love with you, even through all your nitpicking of my wardrobe. You're such a prima donna, Kurt. You make sure everyone looks up when you make an entrance, and they always do. When they look up they see Kurt Hummel, but now when they look up I want them to see Kurt Collins." He pulled the ring out of his pocket, pulling the lid open, happy with the way Kurt's eyes shined. "You told me every year how you hate Valentine's Day, but I hope I can restore some faith in the holiday. I know it's cliché and you'll no doubt berate me the moment we're alone but Kurt Hummel, will you marry me?"

He nodded and nodded and nodded before finally giving a whispered, excited, 'yes'. The moment the ring was on his finger he was cheering with his mother and friends, already setting out to plan the wedding. Burt nodded giving a congratulations, Finn still ate his cake, giving a small 'congrats' behind three layers of cake.

It was common knowledge after nearly 4 years that Kurt Hummel did nothing half-assed. One would call him a bride-zilla but he truly wasn't, he merely wanted everything perfect. He planned the entirety of their wedding, designing every suit and dress himself. He was thorough in every detail of their wedding, from the chairs to the plates, and in the end it was a news print worthy affair, one that earned Kurt his start in the fashion world. But that was not the thing that stood out for Anthony, rather a guest, a guest that Kurt had hugged and practically had to be pulled away from. The man in question was in no hurry to let Kurt go either.

This was the first time Anthony had met Kurt's ex-boyfriend, Blaine Anderson. The man was rather serious looking, one may describe him as dapper and he was attractive, if curls were your thing. Anthony didn't want to think himself jealous, yet, he knew he was. The way Kurt had hugged Blaine Anderson, it seemed like they'd never fallen out of love. Kurt reassured his new husband that he was just excited to see Blaine, he had thought they'd never be friends again. After their break-up they'd never really reconciled, just left a sense of animosity in the air, it was the closure he needed. Anthony accepted this as Blaine announced he was proposing to his own boyfriend soon and would love for Kurt to come out to Massachusetts for the wedding and even design the suits, as Blaine had no sense of fashion.

Anthony gave into Kurt's every whim and going to Blaine Anderson's wedding was also one of those whims. Any jealously that Anthony seemed to feel was nothing compared to Joshua, Blaine's wife or rather husband. The petite boy seemed to not like Kurt as all, even though he'd never met him. Sky blue eyes spent the entirety of a the reception glaring at Kurt, daring the man to make a move. When Blaine asked Kurt for a dance, Joshua had taken a seat next to Anthony.

"Keep your husband away from mine, understood?"

He had been confused, naturally. "If you think they're still not in love, you'll be in for a rude awakening. I love Blaine, and I'm not giving him up to Kurt Hummel, understood? Keep your husband on a leash and away from mine."

As it turned out, Joshua had nothing to worry about. The two men hardly ever talked for three year after Blaine's wedding. Kurt poured himself into his flourishing business as a fashion designer, if it wasn't New York's fashion week it was Paris, or Milan. Kurt never had time to even talk to his own husband, let alone another man's. It carried on just like that. Kurt poured himself into his work, and Anthony worked as a child therapist.

They shared married conversation, Kurt complaining how he had a twill disaster and Anthony told him how another partner blamed their child's bad behavior on ADHD and demanded medication. Which, of course, he refused to give. Naturally a 4 year old has trouble sitting still, they're 4, he'd be more worried if they weren't hyper.

"Oh," Kurt had stated one night. "Blaine is moving to New York so I'm helping him find a place."

That was when their marriage officially changed. Anthony had let Kurt help his friend, it was hard to find a place in New York, and he'd never thought anything more of it. They'd had four years of happy marriage, and helping Blaine find an apartment wasn't going to change that. But it did, oh, it did.

Suddenly Kurt was staying late at his office, not that in itself was unusual but Anthony would get 2 am calls from Meredith asking for Kurt's opinion. Anthony would promptly reply Kurt was there only to here he left 2 hours ago. Worry and trepidation was all he felt till Kurt came home at 3 am apologizing about Meredith. "I had a bride crisis, she was trying on her dress and ripped the train, almost completely off. I just spent the last 2 hours trying to get her to stand still enough for me to fix it. I swear to god she puts that dress on again and it's NOT the day of her wedding I'll kill her."

Believable, Anthony deemed. He knew of the bride in question and she'd already need repairs six times in the past two weeks. It was until their sex life began to lose fire that Anthony really doubted anything 95 percent. Kurt had begun giving him excuses that he was exhausted, that he was stressed, that his body was just tired. All reasons not to have sex and when they did have sex it was, messy and annoyed on Kurt's part but Kurt would always apologize with a show of tears. Kurt blamed himself saying he was overworking, their marriage was being ruined because of their careers. Anthony believed him without question.

A year of this went by, but the final straw came when Kurt stumbled in, his wedding ring missing.

"Kurt, where's your ring?" Anthony asked gently.

Kurt looked down at his finger, eyes widening. "I-I don't know. I swore I put it back on after I was done with that dress, the needle kept hitting it so I took it off temporarily."

He didn't know what possessed him to do it but he harshly grabbed the other man by the arm, pulling the collar of his shirt down before pushing him away.

"I'm sorry!" he exclaimed immediately. The mark on Kurt's neck was barely there, would easily go away by morning if Anthony had not checked.

"Who is he?"

Kurt's eyes darted to the floor. "No one, just a fling, I swear."

"Please do not lie to me. If it was no more than a fling you wouldn't have taken off your ring. Who?"

Kurt gulped, holding himself, his walls immediately coming up. "You know…" he whispered.

"Blaine! Blaine Anderson!"

Kurt nodded. "I'm sorry. I am! I just, we just, it was nothing but old pent up emotions, unfinished business. Untouched emotions, I'm sorry!"

"At least you're not giving me the 'it was a mistake' speech. It was a fling, right? Nothing more."

"I swear to you, it was nothing more than a roll in the sack. NOTHING! I love you, I married you!"

Anthony nodded. "You're not to see Blaine again unless I'm with you, that understood?"

Kurt had nodded, telling him they'd get coffee with Blaine tomorrow and tell him it was over.

Anthony had gone along, Blaine looking horribly guilty as he returned Kurt's wedding ring requesting they not tell Joshua. They'd talked briefly before assuring Anthony everything was over.

Things went back to normal after that, Kurt was happy again, it was like the affair never happened. Kurt didn't talk of Blaine or talk to him and everything was good.

So good they agreed to have a family Christmas gathering. Anthony's own parents even made a short appearance, sizing Kurt up before leaving. Blaine came as well, Joshua firmly at his side. Anthony wondered if Joshua knew about the affair but chose not to question it as it was long and over with. Only when Kurt and Blaine greeted each other he saw something he hadn't expected. Their greeting was cordial as they shook hands and exchanged pleasantries.

Anthony closed his eyes, blocking the site out. Kurt's happiness wasn't because of him, it never was since Blaine came back into his life. He waited till after the New Year to see if things changed but they didn't. Kurt was as happy as usual, working without complaint, loving life. Anthony hadn't caught him against as proof but he was 1000 percent sure he knew the truth in his heart.

It broke his heart but come February he filed for divorce under 'irreconcilable differences'. He sent the papers out before he even realized the date. It was February 14th.

-Part 1 end-


	2. Chapter 2

Media: Fic

Title: The Otherside

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Blaine/OC; Blaine/Kurt

Spoilers: None

Warnings: Infidelity

Summary: He just wanted acceptance nothing more and he wont give up the one person who accepts him to anyone!

Disclaimer: Do not own Glee, however, I do own Anthony and Joshua and other random characters in here.

Author's Note: This is part 2 of 2 follow-up to my drabble No Strings. This piece is from Joshua's POV and takes you up to the affair and slightly beyond just like the previous.

The Otherside

Joshua Riley was your average good old-home Texas boy, at least that's how his parents liked to portray him. For the most part he looked like his mother, and was forced to dress like his father. He had thin light brown hair same as his mother, and her sky blue eyes, not to mention her soft heart shaped face. Some people described him as 'rather feminine' and apparently he was confused often for a girl as a baby. His father wouldn't have that and dressed him as any cowboy should be dressed, in jeans, boots and flannels, not to forget the cowboy hat.

By 14 he decided to go against everything his father wanted and for the first time, donned his sister's old pageant dress in rebellion. He's been letting his hair grow out for sometime and it fell well past his shoulder's much to his father's chagrin. That day he's let his hair fall loose, donned the glitz dress, a pair of heels and some quick make-up and paraded around in front of his parents. He swore his father was going to have a stroke the moment he saw him, but his mother merely laughed and said maybe they should have put him in pageants instead of Charlene.

From that day onward, Joshua dressed in female clothes going by the name Jocelyn outside their home. Thanks to his new appearance he was forced to switch high schools, angering his father even more. He'd gone to Rider and now his son was being forced to transfer to City View. CITY VIEW! He was not pleased, but merely gave a warning about going to Wayland Baptist University. Joshua Riley would go to Midwestern State just like his parents did, and he would GO as Joshua.

This is where Joshua would give his parents the proverbial finger once again. He didn't want to be stuck in Wichita Falls, Texas his entire life, he wanted more than the Falls which sounded like a lame soap opera title; no matter how pretty they were. He wanted grandeur, he wanted Ivy leagues. There was nothing in his mind but that. Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Brown, Dartmouth, ANY of them, he just wanted acceptance in the real world. However, if he had to choose one he would choose Harvard above the rest. Their motto 'Veritas' seemed to echo in his head. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do with his life but he knew he wanted to find it at Harvard.

He spent high school ignoring everyone around him, or rather not bothering to make friends. That's the way it had to be to maintain a perfect GPA, you didn't get a 4.0 by attending parties, you got it by studying. Of course he did the occasional volunteering at a local daycare, and participated in cheerleading if only to get the teachers off his back, plus he got to wear a skirt. Overall his teachers liked him which was a plus considering he'd need beaming letters of recommendation. To add on he also opted to joining the Glee club, he wasn't into show choir but it looked go on a college application. True his voice wasn't as feminine as his appearance but still, no one was going to judge him, at least they hadn't since they day he arrived. In fact, he doubted anyone knew that Jocelyn Riley wasn't actually female.

His senior year was perfectly in line, he'd maintained a perfect GPA, and scored in the upper 5th percentile on his SATs, falling short on math but not even close to be out of the running for Harvard. His teachers gave him the recommendations he wanted, and he felt he'd wrote one hell of an admissions essay, at least in his opinion. When his father read it thinking it was a school paper and seemed confused as all hell, Joshua took that as a good sign. He sent all his applications out at the same time, one to Midwestern as well to get his father off his back. Everything was done and over, or so he thought, his mother deemed is necessary for him to go to Senior Prom.

He'd rolled his eyes but gave it, letting her take him dress shopping and getting his hair done, which he still refused to cut. He didn't want to take a date but his mother arranged for Thomas Delaley from across the street to take him. If he could describe that night in one word it would be 'Carrie'. One would have guessed a cross dresser could never fly under the radar flawlessly for four years, but he almost did.

At prom the football team ganged up on him, dumping a bowl of punch over him and ripping the front of his dress to in fact show he was not a girl. They jeered and called him every name they could think of, but why should he be bothered. It was true. He was sexually attracted to men, and he liked dressing as a woman with no desire to be a woman, go figure. "Congratulations gentlemen, while you jeer I'll be in Cambridge, Massachusetts ignoring you, or and do have fun setting up the Fantasy of Lights, we all know that'll be the only career you ever have," he told them before walking out, held high, he may look like a girl but he would let these idiots push him around like a lesser being. He was better than them and that was that.

The big envelopes came for him while those Neanderthals received the small ones. His father had them on the table looking at them, his mother the same. They were both staring at the names of the return addresses, the names that held high standards and meanings. Joshua stared at those names as well and mused how they all wanted him. Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Dartmouth, he'd gained all their acceptance, their approval. Charlene went to Midwestern just like their parents, and Joshua got acceptance. His father told him he'd be stupid to choose anything less than Ivy League. Joshua had never loved his father more in that one moment.

Once he was settled in at Harvard University and his dorm mates had no problem with a 'cross-dressing dude' as they so put it, he relaxed into college life. He tried to find the scalability he once had use in cheerleading but it seemed lost now. Even then he wasn't really sociable he just did the cheers and dances and went along with it, he didn't really make friends. Now it seemed like an good idea to embrace the outside world, only he'd spent so much time ignoring it he didn't know how. For a brief moment he contemplated that he might have a small case of Aspergers, it wasn't completely outside the realm of thought, but his dorm mates told him otherwise.

To say he became a whore would be to harsh. It was a simple case of his dorm mates being friends and helping him through his problem. Each one was rather attractive in their own right and treated him a different way. When they were sexually frustrated with their respective girlfriends they in a sense took out their sexual frustration on Joshua. He didn't mind, truly, he was being accepted by them, and that was all, right? If they all wanted him in one night who was he to refuse? It felt good which meant there was a connection, which meant they were friends. He'd heard rumors around the dorm and some people calling him 'gangbang boy' but he had no idea what a 'gangbang' was so how could it apply to him?

So it went on for three years. He'd switch dorm mates and become friends with them, and if they wanted to use him for a release who was he to deny it? It was how he made friends, was it not? At least that's what people said behind their hands. Also, it wasn't like it interfered with his studies. His grades were in the upper percentile and his was in prime position to move from Pre-law to Law once he passed his LSATs. He didn't know how he settled on Law as a major but he did and it stuck.

The day before his LSATs he had decided to wander the campus. His mother had recently bought him a new sundress and he quite liked to show it off. Who knew a sundress could change a person's life so much?

As he passed the library he was stopped by a tall dark haired man. The man seemed lost and had called out to him for help. "I'm looking for the testing center. I have an appointment with a Professor Morgan today about admissions and I'm really lost," he rambled out.

"Admissions is on the other side of the campus from the testing center. Professor Morgan's office is 32-B on the second floor of the Admission's building."

"Oh, thanks, I'm new here," the man shrugged. "I just recently got accepted."

"I'm not new," Joshua quipped.

"I figured," he smiled, taking Joshua aback. "I'm Blaine, Blaine Anderson," he introduced, holding out his hand. Joshua took it shaking it firmly.

"Joshua Riley," he responded, surprised to here his real name come out instead of his alias.

Blaine looked him over. "What do you go by normally?"

"Uh-Jocelyn," he answered, why his brain was suddenly going to mush around this man. Who the hell was he?

"Well it was nice to meet you, Jocelyn. I should get going, hopefully I'll see you around."

Joshua blinked as the man walked away, leaving him dumbfounded. When the new semester came and he was assigned a double room with only ONE roommate he was surprised to find Blaine Anderson as his room mate.

"You're a law student too," Blaine said, excitement lacing his voice. "Just curious, what did you make on your LSATs? I want to know my competition around here."

"178."

"So close, I made 177, it seems like we're pretty much on equal grounds."

Joshua already liked this Blaine Anderson more than his other dorm mates. The others had immediately questioned his sexuality, his clothing choice, but Blaine just treated him like any other person. He liked being treated like a person, not an object.

He should have known that Blaine would eventually find out about the 'ritual' as it had become known.

"So it's true?"

Joshua shrugged. "They asked, they accepted me."

"They used you, Josh! You shouldn't have let them do that to you! You're person, not a toy or an object," Blaine defended. "I know I've only know you for a month and it's not my business but that just doesn't seem right."

"Just wait until your girlfriend won't give it to you, then you'll be asking me, that's what they all do."

"Josh, I'm gay," Blaine said bluntly making his roommate fall off his bed in surprise.

"You are?"

"That's a surprise? Besides, I don't have a boyfriend, I did, but we broke up about a year ago. Haven't talked to him since."

That week Joshua did something he'd never thought he'd ever do. He cut his hair off and bought new clothes that consisted of jeans and a t-shirt. The next time he saw Blaine it was as a boy not a girl and Blaine smiled at him. "Nice to meet you, Joshua Riley."

Joshua still wasn't sure how to be sociable but now he had a whole new reason to ignore the outside world. They'd used him and his ignorance and then scorned him for it. Not anymore. The walls he'd let down were back up and no man would touch him again. From that point on he would not be Jocelyn, the girl every man had laid with, he'd be Joshua the most feared law student at Harvard. He needed no other friends than Blaine.

"Josh?"

In the year they'd know each other it never once bothered him when Blaine called him 'Josh'. It still, however, bothered him when his parents called him that.

"Yeah?"

"I'm not trying to be rude, but in the last year we've known each other-" Blaine took a deep breath, trying to find the words, Joshua assumed. "Are you Aspergers?"

"I think maybe a little."

"Okay then," Blaine laughed. "Hey, Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"You want to have coffee with me?"

"We get coffee every morning, Blaine. You always get a medium drip."

"And you always get a grande mocha with an extra shot of chocolate."

Joshua blinked before smiling. "You know my exact coffee order?"

"Of course I do," Blaine answered before turning away abruptly. "So would you? Like a date, I mean?"

"A date? I guess?"

"Alright, it's a date then."

That night was the first time Joshua had ever heard Blaine cry. He listened to the quiet sobs, wondering what had brought them on, but to afraid to ask.

A coffee date was just the beginning. Soon it became lunch dates and then dinner dates and Joshua actually felt real acceptance and appreciation. When he'd offered himself to Blaine, the other man had turned him down saying it wasn't right. That the next time he had sex it should be for love, not for acceptance. Love? Did he love Blaine? He appreciated Blaine, most definitely. He was protective of Blaine just as Blaine was to him, but there seemed to be something else, something that was keeping them apart.

Joshua had given Blaine his whole life story including his forays into cheerleading and glee club during high school. He'd told Blaine he'd grown up in Wichita Falls, Texas and Blaine immediately asked to hear his natural accent. When Joshua let it slip Blaine smiled hugely saying it was the cutest thing. Blaine in turn told him how he lived in Westerville, Ohio and had been driven from a public school by homophobic bullies. He gave details of Dalton Academy and his life on the Warblers, which led into a story about a boy named Kurt Hummel. He was Blaine's first love, and Blaine had been truly, deeply, madly in love with him. It made Joshua seem less significant somehow but Blaine assured him that what he had with Kurt was gone. Kurt was chasing his dream in New York and that was that.

Once everything was on the table, everything opened, Blaine accepted him in all ways. Joshua had never known sex could be so perfect and wonderful and emotional, but with Blaine it was everything he'd never experienced. It was after the act that Blaine told him the truth. "I'm in love with you, Josh."

Not even a year later, before Josh could ever return the sentiment a boulder came crashing down on them. A envelope appeared for Blaine, a wedding invitation, for one Kurt Hummel. Blaine's ex-boyfriend. Blaine didn't even hesitate or stop to think before he was packing a bag and calling the airline. What was the purpose in this? Why had Hummel invited Blaine to his wedding? It had been almost 4 years since the two had seen each other, right? Talked to each other? 3 of those four years belonged to Joshua. Blaine was his now, not Hummel's. Blaine should not be running to New York to see that man, he should be refusing and yet and doesn't even stop to invite his BOYFRIEND along, he just goes.

Joshua is left alone for three whole days while Blaine is in New York doing god knows what. When he finally returned they ended up in a fight with Blaine saying something along the line of Joshua's Aspergers talking which just royally pissed him off. He didn't want to see the man or talk to him which was hard considering they moved into an apartment together last year to save on dorm costs and said apartment involved sharing a bed. Well, Blaine could sleep on the couch, he didn't care.

Their fight continued for three days of just little things that neither one would normally care about. Don't leave you shirt here. Don't use that much gas. Don't buy the cereal with bran. Finally Blaine got fed up and just out righted yelled. "Would you stop being a brat so I can marry you?"

Joshua had been taken aback, mouth opening in an 'o'. "What?"

"Yes, I saw Kurt. No, I did nothing with him. In fact I told him I was going to be proposing to my boyfriend, who I know is in love with me but is to stubborn to say it. But then we got into this stupid fight and everything was ruined and-"

"Yes!"

"What?"

"I'll marry you. I want to marry you."

"I'll let you wear the dress."

Joshua had laughed, hugging Blaine tightly and for the first official time telling him he loved him.

The only thing that could dim his mood happened. Kurt Hummel would be design his dress for the wedding. How wonderful. He didn't like this man because of his past with Blaine and he truly didn't want to tolerate him. Yet, Kurt didn't share the same sentiment. He happily designed the dress, not even asking questions about why he wanted to wear a dress instead of a suit in the first place. In fact, Kurt seemed happy to be doing this for Blaine. He asked the occasional question, wondering about how school went for both him and Blaine and how Blaine was doing, all of which Joshua answered as vaguely as possible. Kurt lost Blaine, he was not getting him back.

Joshua couldn't help but glare at the man all through the wedding, daring him to touch HIS husband. When they danced Joshua took the opportunity to have a discussion with Kurt's own spouse. He warned him and warned him again. The man seemed to be oblivious but Joshua was not, their love was not gone nor forgotten, but he was not going to give Blaine up without a fight.

Things calmed down after that, Blaine had minimal contact with Kurt and focused on his career. Joshua had decided to practice medical law, and took small claims as they came. Blaine, naturally, wanted more and Joshua wanted him to have more. When Blaine was offered a job as Calvin, Marcel, and Harden in New York, Joshua encouraged him to take it. It didn't even occur to him that Kurt Hummel lived in New York until after they moved.

Joshua may be socially inept and a bit naïve but he wasn't stupid. Not even a year after they'd arrived in the city and Blaine was having late nights, stumbling home at 3 am in the morning. He might have been paranoid by nature, but he knew something was up. He let it go for a while since the number one sign of cheating was change in sexual routine. Blaine's manner towards him in the bedroom was no different, if anything he was more horny than usual. Blaine was doting upon him more, taking him to dinners and such.

Perhaps paranoia and jealously had got the best of him. Maybe Blaine did work late, possibly got a promotion. He felt like the guilty party. When he had to go to New Jersey for a case he felt he could trust Blaine, but then his paranoia got the best of him and he hid a camera, just to see what Blaine did while he was gone. He told himself he was crazy and he didn't want to be that kind of wife, but it just was eating at him. He wanted to be more than positive Blaine was innocent and then he would give a formal apology.

When he returned home and Blaine went to work he played back the footage. When the images played back he screamed, wanting to throw the camera, wanting to break something, anything, EVERYTHING! He KNEW it! Not only did Blaine hold that man, touch him, caress him, he did it in THEIR bed, he told Hummel he loved him without hesitation.

Blaine had come home a little stressed but Joshua didn't breach the subject. If Blaine wanted to live a lie that was fine, he could live a lie too. The affair seemed to stop for a while but then became subtle, Blaine skipping out on lunch dates and dinner dates were the clues. Even if he'd acted cordial with Kurt as Christmas Joshua could see they were playing, toying with emotions.

Finally he got fed up and just had to say something. "Did you ever love me? Or has it always been him?"

"What are you talking about Josh?"

"Me or him! Don't try to lie to me about the affair, I know."

"You know?"

"Call me paranoid but I recorded what you did, or rather who you did while I was in New Jersey. Looks like I had ample reason to be paranoid. Now tell me the truth, me or him."

"My head says you, my heart…..says Kurt," he whispered. "I'm sorry, Josh. I really care about you, I was sure I was in love with you."

Joshua shook his head. "You saw me as him, I was his replacement."

Blaine looked away, knowing in his heart that was true.

"I'm not giving you a divorce. I'm not letting you run into his arms. If he wants you, he'll have to pry you from my cold dead arms, because I'm not letting him have you."

They could both live a lie, he may seem crazy, but he just wanted love and acceptance.

-part 2 end-


End file.
